1 create a story

From the corner of my eyes I realized a movement. The stranger made some steps closer to the cliffs until he remained only few feet far from the dark abyss. I held my breath – I never had stood that close to the cliffs. And then I understood why the man had come here. Paralysed I stared over to him. I was afraid of making any step forward to him, in fear he might his intention come true. But from a feeling I shouted in gaelic to him: „Níl! Más é do thoil é!“

For a moment which seemed eternity to me nothing happened. It was as if the stranger hadn´t heard or understood. Then, like in a dream, he slowly turned his head into my direction. I couldn´t see well his face in the darkness, but he seemed to realize me now. I saw him making a step backwards and sitting down in the grass that grew beside the rocks. I sighed and moved again. Without caring about the path I ran over to him. He sat in front of me, his head leaning on his crossed arms, and seemed to shiver from the cold.I knelt beside him, took off my woolen scarf and wrapped it around his shoulders. Then I saw that he didn´t feel cold. He was crying, soundless and silent as the night that had fallen down on land and sea. No sound, no word came out of his mouth, but I could feel the tears shaking him.

It was an unreal situation. I was sitting here beside a stranger without knowing who he was and why he was in such despair. Ahead of him and me the abyss with the raging sea on its bottom and the final darkness of the moonless night, barely brightened by some stars. I barely saw something, only heard the ocean waves and felt the silent sadness of the man beside me, as if the whole world was ending in a black emptiness in this moment. As if the sea for the first time wasn´t the cradle of life but the end of all roads. Maybe that was the reason why he came here..... Instinctively I put my arm around the shoulders of that stranger as if to protect him, and I kept sitting beside him silently until the wind carried his tears away.

I didn´t know how long I had been sitting beside him, but finally he raised his head from his arms and looked out into the night. „Here the land ends“, he said with a low voice in gaelic, the old language, and once again I was touched by the deep sadness inside of him, in his voice.
„The land, but not the life“, I answered. I felt his deep breathing.
„I also looked for the end of life“. He grabbed my hand that layed still on his shoulder. „But it seems I haven´t found it.“

The cold of the first autumn nights was around us. I stood up and lifted him up too. „Come on“, I said, „this path leads right to the house where I live. Here it is too dark and cold.“
More by memory and by instinct I went through the darkness back to the cottage, my hand in the hand of the stranger. He followed me like a child that has lost its way in the night. I still didn´t know anything about him, not even his name. But I knew he couldn´t stay alone outside here.

It wasn´t easy to find the way home in the darkness, but finally we reached the house. I unlocked the door and switched the light on. Now for the first time I was able to see the face of the man, his weary, sad eyes, still wet from crying.
We went over to the living-room and I lit up a fire in the chimney. The living heat of the peat felt good past the cold wind outside, and the smell of the fire brought back the memories of my home on Inish-more. The stranger seemed to live up too. He sat down in front of the fire.
„You still don´t know my name“, I said, „I am Maire O´Flaherty.“
A light smile hushed over his face. „ I am Colin Mcdonald“, he answered. „I was born here on Skye, but I have been away for a long time...too long.“

The smile disappeared again behind the sadness of his eyes. They had the colour of the sea, blue and green, but it was as if dark clouds of autumn storms were hovering over them.
I wanted to ask him why he was in such despair, why he went to the cliffs. But I didn´t do it. Instead of that I brought him two warm blankets and a pillow. „There is not much room in the house“, I explained to him, „but maybe you could stay here on the couch; it is broad enough.“
„ I don´t want to trouble you more than I did already“, he replied. „ I live north of Uig; it is not too far from here and maybe I can still catch a bus.“
„You are not troubling me“ I said. I was afraid of him taking the wrong direction again outside in the darkness and loneliness. „And at this hour you won´t get any bus. Or is someone waiting for you at home?“
„No, I live alone.“
„Then you better stay“ I answered. „ I leave the fire burning, so it will be warm here until morning. If you need anything more, just let me know.“

I went through the kitchen and to my bedroom, put on my sleeping clothes and laid on my bed. But I couldn´t fall asleep. My thoughts went on circling around that man over in the living-room. Finally I stood up again, put on my pullover and went through the kitchen.

He was still awake, like me. He was sitting on the couch and looking into the glowing fire, wrapped up into one of the blankets.
„You can´t sleep either?“ he asked me as I stepped into the room. I shook my head.
„Surely you want to know why I stood outside ther by the rocks“, he said. I sat beside him and he went on: „ I didn´t see any way ahead of me....All my roads suddenly lied behind me.“

I wondered wether he was ill or if he had lost someone he was in love with. I only knew his name and that he was from this isle. He looked back to the fire and remained silent for a long while. Then he started talking.
„The house I live in belonged to my parents“, he said. „They died two years ago in a car accident in Aberdeen. At that time I was on the continent, and when I got the news it was too late. – I couldn´t even come to the funeral.“ He stopped talking, and I waited until he went on. „I was touring with a band in France and Germany. I practically was on the road all that time. Past the death of my parents I didn´t wanna go back to that house here on Skye. It is filled with too much memories.
My parents never accepted that we made music. When I saw them for the last time, I left past a hard discussion. And then I couldn´t talk to them any more.“
„And is it your home now?“ I asked.
„I don´t know. This isle is my home. And in all the years we ran from concert to concert, from place to place, I wanted to return to the sea, the green meadows, the rocks. But we never had time. The music means a lot to me, it is my life. But in the end it wasn´t the same. Many people used us for their own interests. There was no rest, we were only a product for others. My friends have drownded the stress in alcohol, in crazy parties with lassies and liters of whisky. I tried to get away from that, I didn´t want to be in that. There were more and more struggles in the band. Finally I took my things and escaped, back here, to the empty house. And there I sat and stared at the walls, waiting for something that didn´t arrive. It was so silent.....“. He breathed deeply and remained silent again.

„I never have lived this kind of silence“, I said, „but I could feel it in you, outside by the cliffs.“
„You are not from here, are you?“ he asked. „You speak gaelic, but different from the people here on Skye.“
„I am from Ireland, from the Arans“, I answered. „I am working here as a teacher in Idrigill.“
„Do you teach in gaelic or english language?“
„Both.“
„It is good that this language is still spoken in Ireland“, he said. „We were there too, but not on the Aran Islands. We sang english and gaelic songs. And the people at the westcoast of Ireland understood the songs. On the continent and in England gaelic was more a kind of exotic language for the people.“
„What will you do now?“ I asked the man beside me who wasn´t a stranger to me any longer.
He shrugged his shoulders and looked at me. „I don´t know.“

I wasn´t able to give him an answer. In the dim light of the fire I saw the sadness returning to his eyes, and it hurted me. I wanted to do something to chase this sadness away and to bring back the smile. So without thinking I laid my arm around his shoulders again. He raised up his hands and put them against my cheeks. I felt the warmth of his fingers on my face and closed my eyes. Then I felt his lips on mine, the light breath. And while I kissed him, the darkness and the cold and all unknown of the night disappeared, the sadness, and a new path lied ahead. I could feel his heartbeat mingled with mine, becoming one rhythm, becoming the breath of the wind and the sea. We dídnt need the heat of the fire any more that still sended out its red light. The world around us drownded while we were creating a new and own one. And when Colin called my name, the echoe of my own call, we returned to reality.